Why I Disappeared and Getting Back to Blogging #blogging #books #MentalHealth

girl in nature, thinking

It feels like it has been ages since the last time I posted anything here on Book Dust Magic. It was never my intention to disappear. I guess life had other plans for me, and as much as I wanted to keep up with the same lifestyle I had before 2020, I couldn’t.

As I feel like I am ready to at least try to get back to blogging, before I do, I feel like I need to explain why I disappeared over night from the blogosphere.

Some of you may know that in 2020 I became a mother for the first time. I was really looking forward to a new chapter of my life. I had so much plans, including telling you about my experience as a first time mother here on my blog too.
However, each day after giving a birth was harder and harder, I fell into postpartum depression when I felt like I had no right to be in that state of mind, because I had no one except my fiance to help me with the baby. I felt like I had no luxury to have some rest, to be sad, or to just be myself, when all I had to do was taking care of my son. I really wished for my mother to help me, or to have a friend who would just look after him for couple of hours, just so I could sleep or rest, but wishes don’t always get granted.

I missed reading so much, but I didn’t have time or energy to do it, and I honestly felt like the old me was slipping away, until her final disappearance.

I was already in a bad shape, and then to make more room for the baby I had to give up on so many (un)read books. I sent them to my parents with plan to get them back when we move to a bigger apartment that we plan to purchase in next 10 years (we want to buy an apartment without mortgage), and then my father placed them in my late granny’s house and guess what? Dump ruined them.

And then I had to say goodbye to my cat GiGi (my father took him) because of his aggressive side, so our baby wouldn’t be in danger while he was newborn, and to be honest, saying goodbye to GiGi was a nail to a coffin of a person I used to be.
From then on, I felt like I was trapped in someone else’s body, living someone else’s life and not being able to live a life that was mine.

And then the earthquake happened (and another one), and cut the strings I still held onto with tips of my fingers.
I still have ptsd and I don’t think it will ever go away.

Anyway, I wanted to let you know why I wasn’t around, I practically stopped being part of this community not only because I simply didn’t have time, but because it was hard for me to look at everyone reading more books then ever. If I’m being honest, I was envy, and it was healthier for me to stay away from twitter and blogs.

Now when my son is 13 months old, I feel better and more rested as he started to sleep during night, and I started reading again.
It is still not as much as I would like to, and I will probably have to make piece with the fact that maybe I won’t read as many books as I’d like to for next few years.

My English suffered too, I find it hard to express myself as good as I used to, but I am working on it.

So… I decided to try to get back to blogging. One post at time. I won’t have a schedule because I can’t obligate myself to one.
I will cross post some reviews I have already written on Goodreads, and write new ones as I read, with hope that with time I will be able to write discussions and touch other subjects too.
And I hope someone will read them.

Winter photo created by jcomp – www.freepik.com

Let’s talk: I am pregnant! #Pregnancy #LifeStyle #Bloggers #MummyBloggers

pregnancy

There is something I want to talk about for some time now, but I kept putting it off because of, to me, valid reason.

I am pregnant!

I am so happy about it. It was planned, but not expected, if it makes any sense.
In other words, me and my fiance really wanted to be parents, but as I come from a family where infertility is big issue, I didn’t want to have high expectations, to avoid disappointment.

Right now I am 19 weeks pregnant, and the reason why I didn’t announce it sooner is because I have been diagnosed with high risk of miscarriage.

It was not easy to deal with all the symptoms, but that is another theme, and I don’t want to spoil this happy post with it.

My diagnoses are also the reason why I don’t go to work anymore (I’m safekeeping my baby) and why there were no other posts then reviews on my blog for the couple of months now.
When all you have to do is rest and can’t go anywhere near children (a theme for another post) there’s not much to do then read and watch movies.
I also can’t travel or go to places I planned to visit and write about them in my lifestyle posts.

However, now when I announced my big news, there will be some lifestyle posts about my pregnancy here on my blog (and other things that come to my mind).
I understand it is not something that interests everyone, so I completely understand if you want to skip them, but it is something I do want to express my feelings about.

I still don’t know the gender of the baby, but as soon as I find out, I will announce it here, on my blog.

I am so excited about this new chapter of my life and am looking forward to see what our future will look like.

Background photo created by jcomp – www.freepik.com

With love for book bloggers: Books, Blogs & Reality by Ryan Ringbloom (BookReview) #BookBloggers #ChickLit #BookLovers

books, blogs, & reality by ryan ringbloom book cover

GIFTED / After years of having it on my tbr, I finally decided to read Book, Blogs, & Reality and I am about to tell you everything about it.
I got it for free via Netgalley in an exchange for an honest review. I want to thank the author for my copy.
This novel was published on October 24th 2014 an it has 202 pages.

ribbon

About the book:

FROM GOODREADS / Life can suck…

When reality becomes overwhelming, seeking comfort in fictional fantasies keeps hope alive. And while this escape may be a little delusional, it’s also therapeutic.

Sharing secrets is daunting, but virtual friends don’t often judge and they are always ready to share a glass of wine…or three…while typing out life’s latest endeavors.

Brooke believes obstacles only add to romance, not detract. Rachael longs for a more intense relationship, or so she thinks. Lizzie misses the excitement in her life, but sometimes new situations find you when you’re not even looking. And Jess believes a tiger can change his stripes. It can’t.

Bound by a shared passion for blogging about happily ever afters, these four young women use keyboard therapy to work through their expectations, anxieties, and inadequacies, all with the hopes of achieving the perfection found in romance novels.

Completely blinded by what they think life should be, they navigate their unique paths in search of what they envision is right. But when reality taunts them with persistent curve balls, will they be strong enough to choose wisely? Or will their happy endings escape them?

ribbon

Review:

I am on a big mission to clean my Netgalley shelf by the end of the year, and rise my ratio to at least 95%.
Therefore, I read all the books I was putting on a side for the time “when I’ll feel like reading them” (I realized it was rude of me to have some titles on my tbr for 2+ years and it was about time to read them).

Books, Blogs, & Reality is one of those books that were my victims, and although there are no good excuses why I procrastinated reading it for so long, I am happy I finally got around to it, because I enjoyed it so much!

The story follows four women who share their love for books and talk to each other every day in their chat group.

I have a feeling this book was written with so much love for book bloggers, and I am sure book bloggers will relate with it on many levels: from sharing love for books and the need to talk about them with other fellow readers, to having blogger friends you talk with on regular basis, not just about books, but also about personal life as well (Hello Amanda!), and also, having blog schedule and writing book reviews on time, participating in blog tours…

The books is pretty short and it is easy to read, so it can easily be read in one sitting.
It is written in third person following all four main characters: Lizzie, Rachael, Brooke and Jess. Each one of them had an interesting story that had good lesson.
There are also chat inserts through the book.

I liked all of the stories, but I was the most interested in Jess‘.
Even though I expected it to end differently, I really liked how it finished.

I also really enjoyed Lizzie’s tale, even though I found it to be predictable, and I only wish Brooke’s story got at least one more chapter, because it felt rushed.

Overall, I am so glad I finally read Books, Blogs, and Reality because I really enjoyed it and I highly recommend it to book bloggers and those who’d like to read what it’s like to be one.

four hearts

My first blog post in which I am discussing how I started reading in English and my 2016 bookish resolution

Once upon a time, there was a girl who liked to read. Although reading was her favorite hobby, there were still things she liked to do as well: going out with her friends, watching movies and tv, listening to music, knowing everything that happens in the celebrity culture, traveling  and just being alive.

Then, the year 2013 came. The girl stummbled upona  website called Goodreads, where she learned about books she never heard of. They all looked so appealing to her, but there was just one problem: most of them weren’t translated into Croatian, the girl’s native language.

The girl figured out that, in order to read them, she has to learn English. She already knew some basics from school, but she was never good enough when it came to using them.

That didn’t discourage her. The girl went to a bookstore, bought herself a copy of the spin-off of her favorite series (it was a Bloodlines by Richelle Mead and no, it is still not translated to Croatian L ), took a dictionary and a pen , and started reading.

It took her almost a month to finish that book and after she was done with it, she bought herself a copy of The Golden Lily.

It took her around two weeks to finish that one and, when she was finally done with it, she grabed herself a copy of The Fault in our Stars.

Then came Anna and the French Kiss which made her fall in love with books in a whole new level, and after that, more and more books she read, faster and faster of a reader she became, more and more hungry for a great fiction she was.

As you probably figured out by now, the girl was me and, although I still enjoy all of the mundane things, reading is what I love the most and feel a great passion about.

These days I am not only reading in English (although I still do enjoy reading in my native language) but writing reviews and discussing books in it as well.

Although I am a pretty active user on Goodreads , I decided to start my own blog and to be a part of a bookish community (I also got a twitter account for that purpose).

 

These are my 2016 bookish resolutions:

  • To be a part of bookish community
  • Not to set up myself a Goodreads challenge (because this year I don’t want to stress myself whether I would reach it or not, but just want to relax and enjoy reading as I once did)
  • To participate in Read-a-Thons
  • To read more classics
  • To re-read more (once upon a time re-reading was what I loved the most. To me, it was even better then first-time-reading. Since discovering Goodreads and so many new books, I kind of lost the habit of re-reading and I started to miss it)
  • To read books I still haven’t from authors I consider as my favorite (Richelle Mead, Julie Kagawa, Katie McGarry, Jane Costello, Lindsey Kelk, J. A. Templeton, Cynthia Hand, Madeleine Wichkam (aka Sophie Kinsella)

When it comes to my blog, I am still in process of learning everything but I hope I will manage to handle everything pretty soon.

In the next few days I will post some of my old reviews that I am obligated to publishers, some of my old reviews because I want them to be here on my web-space, as well as new ones that I still have to write.

Anyway, I hope to be here a long time, to be able to call myself a blogger, and to get on well with other book bloggers.

Thank you for reading this.

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