Title: If Only I Could Tell You
Author: Hannah Beckerman
Publisher: Orion
Date: February 21st, 2019
Pages: 368
Format: eARC
Source: from Publisher for a review
Review:
Trigger warning: this book talks about serious illness, miscarriage, suicide…
If Only I Could Tell You is a book everyone talked about still in 2018, even though it officially came out few days ago.
Many bloggers said it will be on most people favourite lists for 2019, how emotional and touching it was, and now when the book is released, it’s Goodreads page is full of positive, 5 and 4 stars reviews.
I am aware that I am in minority here, but I have to say I didn’t like this story as much as others. I mean, I do appreciate it, and I do think it was a touching story that talks about so many serious subjects that happen every day and need to be talked about, but I needed some hope from it.
I read books to feel better. I am aware that life is not beautiful, and I also like to read serious book, and hard books, but I like when books have at least one positive thing in the story, a little silver lining hidden between pages.
This book had none.
It was like a punch in the face filled with all the negative things life can bring, with one tragedy after another. And just when the story punched me so hard I was mentally lying on the floor, and I needed that last hope towards the end, it kicked me once again and walked away…
Okay, I know I’m exaggerating, but I hope you got what I mean…
The story follows two sisters, Jess and Lily who have no connection to each other because Jess blames Lily for something that happened in their past, and can’t ever forgive her.
The third character is their mother Audrey who wants to make things right, heal their family before she says her final goodbye.
That is all you have to know before going into the story, because there is so many tragic things that happen in this story, I don’t think any premise can prepare readers for what’s inside.
So many events from the book can be triggering, so be aware of that. Miscarriage, suicide, illness just to name the few…
There was one scene that described miscarriage in such a detailed way that it made me weak. I had to stop reading, skip some pages and then after some time I was ready to continue with the story.
The story is written in third person, following all three main characters’ perspectives.
I think Hannah Beckerman is good author, and I understand why people like her work, but in all honesty, I don’t think she’s the author I’ll come back to. At least not in this point of my life.
However, I have a need to stress out once again that this book is loved by so many readers.
If I should recommend it, I would to readers who like to read tragic and realistic stories.
Book Dust Magic 
Thank you for such a strong review! I agree, I look for a silver lining at the end of books, especially when they are from this genre (can’t bring the dead back in crime fiction!) and with all those heavy subjects, it might have been good to get some light at the end of the tunnel here.
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Thanks Meggy! I had to be honest as I always am. I see people actually love this book, and I hoped I would too, but you know how it goes… As I was reading, I formed my own opinion.
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I like getting different opinions, otherwise I start being wary of a book!
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